Well I thought that after his crossover with The Punisher that Riverdale’s Archie Andrews could survive anything but apparently I was wrong. The love struck red headed retard has proposed to Veronica in Archie#600 while a teary eyed Betty watched the proposal go down. Now I know love is blind, but apparently it’s stupid too if you’re Archie. No good can result for the couple that People Magazine will no doubt name Archonica; well at least Adam Sandler will have something that rhymes with Hanuka when he inevitably updates that song he does every Christmas. Archie you are a shit head, Veronica was only slightly hotter, and her dad isn’t a jerkoff, you would have never had to spend the rest of you days in misery as you catered to your spoiled brat wife, and most importantly I get a vibe the Betty is better in the sack. I don’t know why, I just think that’s the way it would play out. Well here’s to hoping that Jughead can swoop in and get the rebound hump from Archie’s jilted ex, but I think we all know it’ll be that evil mother fucker Reggie banging Betty when the dust settles.

This story is clearly shitty enough that I’m sure the wanna be losers at eatsleepcelebrity.com who ripped off our name are covering the story with much greater depth….Lets hope Captain America#600 is better. Is Judd Winnick writing Archie these days?