This week marked the first distribution of the H1N1 vaccine, providing protection against a feared pandemic, and potentially saving thousands of lives. This week’s 5 Infectious Games will have your reaching for the Purell, or other alcohol-based sanitizer.

5. Infected (PSP, 2005)

This early psp game managed to base the game in the setting of a worldwide pandemic similar to 28 Days Later, and strip away anything that made the movie great; the atmosphere of the game doesn‘t really have the  feel of a zombie apocalypse. With all the multipliers and limited environments, it has more in common with a pinball machine than the zombie-killing waves of Left 4 Dead. However, the game did include an innovative multiplayer mode, which allowed players to infect any defeated online rivals with their own personal ‘viral strain’; the defeated player’s game now contains the winning player’s avatar, and the ‘infection’ can only be removed by passing it on to another player or ‘immunizing’ the PSP by playing through a series of single-player levels.

4 Brreakdown (Xbox, 2004)

Derrick Cole wakes up in a laboratory, with a no memory after a severe reaction to a recent injection.  So far this game is a nightmare scenario for anyone cautious (ie misinformed) about the H1N1 vaccine, aside from the fact that this injection gives the recipient kick-ass super-powers, Steve Rogers-style. The game also features the first known incident of first-person sick in a video game, which could only be surpassed by a co-ed party simulator.

3. Dr. Mario (NES, 1990)

If you  need it, Dr. Mario can prescribe it; at least if you’re  infected with a yellow, blue or red virus. Don’t come to Dr. Mario with something as common as Influenza; he’ll only leave you with a high fever and a gold star, which make you feel `invincible`, but wears off after only a few seconds. Dr. Mario was originally released in !990, but it seems like it’s  only a matter of time before Mario is slinging the `little blue bill` to sexually frustrated Gen-Xers.

2. Oregon Trail (Apple II, 1985)

This classic educational title manages to engage students with its simple premise: Bring pioneers from point A to point B, dealing with river crossings and common thievery along the way. The turn-based resource management of Oregon Trail is an enjoyable game experience for fertile young minds; until someone in your party dies of dysentery. You’ll leave the game thankful for the benefits of modern sanitation, and wondering whether or not you actually needed that second set of clothes to survive.

1. Trauma Center: Under the Knife (Nintendo DS, 2005)

In the near future, talented young doctor Derek Stiles, a surgeon at Hope Hospital (another Derek?) discovers he possesses the Healing Touch after saving a dying man following a car crash. The Healing Touch, along with a sharp mind will assist Stiles against GUILT, a particularly nasty parasitic strain; he’ll need every advantage possible to take on rapidly the evolving parasitic baddies infecting his patients. This game allows the average gamer to save other lives using the Healing Touch, and as a result lets the player indulge an already fertile God complex, fostered by saving the world (at least the Mushroom Kingdom) for the hundredth (possibly more) time. However, completing the tasks in the game are equal parts rewarding and frustrating; after playing a level a dozen times and successfully completing the level, the game raises the difficulty level by challenging the player to deal with whatever screwed up situation might arise, including high-stress, open-heart surgery. If you can persevere, the game is memorable experience; expect flashbacks of great glory and agonizing defeat. The game is called Trauma Center after all.

Playing these games might end up preventing an outbreak of H1N1; a self-imposed quarantine to take on the last few levels of Trauma Center would help contain a widespread contamination, provided you’ve already stock-piled Red Bull. Think of it as a caffeine-fuelled pre-emptive strike against Swine Flu. However, if you do have the desire to maintain contact with society, there are some simple things you can do to avoid, or at least deal with H1N1:

If you feel like you have the flu, stay home. No one can fight the flu without rest; maybe Wolverine, but Sally at work doesn’t have a healing factor, and she probably wouldn’t appreciate the missed work.

Wash your hands, jack-ass. Seriously, how difficult is it to wash your hands before you bite into that Quarter Pounder? Failing that, sanitize those damn hands; think about how many people handled that used copy of Dark Cloud.

Get the vaccine. This ain’t Final Fantasy 7; wait and see will only lead you to wishing your had a Hi-Potion. Barrett won’t always be there to take the hit.

Captain Planet probably said it best, and most obvious: “The power is *yours!*“. Stay healthy and stay clean, folks.