eat.sleep.geek.

Well now that the 3 console manufacturers have had their press conferences and we’ve all begun to digest what they’ve thrown our way it’s inevitable that people are going to start trying to determine which of the big 3 are in the best postion for the upcoming year. Luckily for us Strategy Analytics games analyst Martin Olausson has already figured out who won this year’s E3.  According to Olausson, Microsoft has “clearly pulled ahead of Sony and Nintendo when it comes to offering next generation online entertainment experiences”, he goes on to talk about how Nintendo and Sony really just offered “more of the same” and failed to give gamers more than …. well gaming stuff.  Microsoft on the other hand had a ton of things to offer video gamers.  Great things too like Facebook and Twitter integration, streaming high def movies and TV, a streaming music service, new international markets for these services, and Project Natal.  Now I don’t want to sound stupid here but I’ m going to ask this question anyways, other than Project Natal, what the hell do any of those do for gamers?

I know that’s a terribly short sighted view for me to take.  I understand that all the console makers need to do things to attract new people to their product, but that I think that somebody has forgotten some of the basics of qualiity here.  Martin, if you’re reading this let me give you a quick refresher.  There are dimensions of any product or service called features, these are the things that a product does for it’s customer.  Now not all features are created equal, there are three different types of features and any asshole with an MBA has different names for them, but basically they work like this.  There are features that if you don’t have them you are going to lose customers like crazy, then there are features that will make the customer’s experience better and slowyly build loyalty to the product, and finally  there are features that customers go wild for and a little bit of them make customers insanely happy.

Now here’s where it all breaks down for Microsoft and why Martin Olauffson is dead wrong.  You see, the the first type of features as it applies to a game console is that it actually plays games, not it usually plays games but if it gets too hot, or if you put in a dirty disk you get the RROD.  That is the minimum requirement.  So if the kind folks at Microsoft want to blow us away, here’s what they needed to say at their E3 Press Conference.  They needed to tell us that they have found the cause and solution to the red ring of death and will extend warranty service for all customers through the manufactured life of the Xbox360; as long as they are making 360’s yours is covered under warranty.  Furthermore, they are so sure that the next time you send your 360 in for repair will be the last time it needs fixing that any time in the future you have a RROD that is not caused by blatant abuse on your part they will send you a free game of your choice.  See that would get me to turn my xbox on, because right now it’s sitting next to my tv collecting dust so that when Mass Effect2 and Allan Wake come out I’ll be able to play then to completion before if dies on me.

That’s not even the full extent of why declaring Microsoft the grand champion of the E3 press conference battle royal is way off base.  Remember those last two types of features?  The ones we think are cool and want more of, and the ones we go mental for?  Well consider this Marty, awesome games fall into the category gamers go crazy for, and TV and music are in the “nice to have” category, not the other way around.  I’ll take two new Mario games, God of War III, or Bioshock II over being able to stream High School Musical 3 and Chuck any day.  Content always is and always will be king.  So you can have the best strategy in the world, but if it’s incongruent with the features your customers want, it’s not worth shit.  So while I do agree that Xbox Live is cooler than PSN,  maybe even a lot cooler (I can’t remember I’m too affraid to use my 360), that hardly makes them champs of this generation.  So Mr. Olausson I hope you enjoy watching Hannah Montana and Twilight streamed to you at your convenience on your 360, and you’ll have to excuse me while I decide if I want to play Mad World on my wii, or Killzone 2 on my PS3.

Now I don’t think it’s fair to say who won and who lost at E3, it really depends why you play video games and what type of games you like.  I do think it’s fair to say this though, whatever games you play keep playing them and make sure that the games themselves are what keep you coming back for more because without games a video game console is just a hi-def VCR that can surf the web.