eat.sleep.geek.

When the Crank headed to theaters two years ago, as a movie fan I was totally shocked that there was a movie that went under my radar; one that I felt had an awesome idea. A man get injected with an unknown poison that will kill him in one hour. He must find the people who did this to him and find an antidote before it’s too late; the catch is, he’s got to keep his heart going my injecting it with massive amounts of adrenaline. I was glad I found out a few weeks before the movie came out, and was able to see it opening day. The movie itself seemed like a lift from the game Grand Theft Auto. This man runs around shooting people, stealing cars, not caring about breaking the law; heck, he’ll never see the trial. I felt transformed and inspired, and it kept me wondering how they were able pull off many of the shots in the film. Sadly, the film ended with him falling from a helicopter, smashing a car and landing face first in the hot pavement.

Unlike many movie sequels in recent memory, Crank: High Voltage starts exactly where the first movie ended; not a year later, not a few days later, not even minutes later, but seconds. As soon as he hit the pavement a van pulls up and a few unidentified men begin literally scraping him off the ground with a shovel and place him inside. He loses consciousness after the abduction. When he regains consciousness, he is on an improvised operating table in an undisclosed location, subject to a biology experiment conducted by a black market doctor of indeterminate Asian origin. He watches as they take out his heart and place an artificial one in its place; he loses consciousness again. As he comes to this time, he overhears two men discussing the extraction of his organs like he’s a Peking duck. This is where we find that the reason he survived the fall was that his whole body is literally indestructible. But once he finds out that the next organ scheduled for removal is his ‘Wang Chung’, things get violent. This leads us into the story of the second movie High Voltage.

After escaping the operating room (which doubles as a massage parlor) and disposing of all threats, including a revolutionary interrogation technique, Chelios  is determined to hunt down the man responsible for pinching his ’strawberry tart’ aka heart, and  retrieve his indestructible heart. The catch? His new heart is powered by a battery that was never meant to last more than a couple of days on normal use. Since Chelios doesn’t have time to sit and relax, he forces the heart to work harder, killing the exterior battery in mere minutes. This forces him to have to recharge the interior battery over and over again with a high voltage electric current.

There’s not too much I can say about this movie without revealing the best parts, except you have to go see it. If you loved the first you are going to fall head over heels for this bombshell. The script is well-written, and has no problems grabbing your attention and forcing you to follow along; because in reality you’ll want to follow Chev’s every move. You want to see his reign of pointless violence; you want to see the crazy people he bumps into; and you want to see topless women. Trust me there are a good amount of topless women in the movie.

The camera work is just as beautiful as it was in the first movie, but there weren’t as many distortion shots from Chelios POV (point of view) which was fine because it only worked since he was on ‘that Chinese poison’. I just wonder how someone could come up with the ideas to get some of these shots. I’m sure they were on ’shrooms. In their defense, some of the greatest Authors/Artists/Singers/etc. have all been under the influence of something. Douglas Adams anyone? Hmm… that gives me an idea.

One thing I didn’t expect was how much I was going to laugh. There were funny moments in Crank but nothing compared to what you’ll see in Crank: High Voltage. There are things in here you would never see coming or that would ever  expect to see happen. I don’t want to get into too much detail because trust me; it’s better not to know.

I just want this on Blu-Ray. RIGHT NOW.