Okay folks, if you’ll just indulge me for a second here I’d like to address voice over artists in general and Eliza Dushku specifically: if you’re just going to phone it in, do us all a favour and DON’T. Better yet, if you don’t respect the medium enough to bring your A-game, turn down the job in the first place. Now, to be fair to Ms. Dushku, I’m not particularly familiar with her A-game so it might actually be this wooden and unbalanced. The only work I’ve seen her in is about three quarters of Dollhouse season one and as far as I’m concerned she should win the Emmy for best butt in yoga pants. Incidentally, the Anatomy Emmy’s would be an award show that I would actually watch, so get cracking Hollywood elite!

Anyway, Wet is an okay action game that we’ve all played before. The combat mechanics are a little stiff, taking away from the freeflow style of acrobatic gunplay that the developers were obviously going for. I don’t get it, this type of action game (nimble protagonist cartwheels and wall runs around a room in slow motion while easily dispatching gun toting goons) has been around for a long time and in my memory there hasn’t been a great one that got the combat just right. Feel free to point me in the direction of some good ones in the comments section but don’t try to tell me Devil May Cry was this type of game cause it ain’t. How long are we going to have to wait until the gameplay catches up to what goes on in the cut-scenes of this genre? I mean, Christ, they’ve just recently gotten martial art beat-em-ups right and those have been around since, what, the twenties?

At the end of the day what we’ve got here is an average acrobatic shoot-em-up (coined!) that tries way too hard to be stylized and doesn’t try hard enough to be good. Now if they could make a genre-bending Six String Samurai game…

VERDICT: RE-WATCH KILL BILL WHILE SITTING NEXT TO YOUR CARDBOARD STANDEE OF ELIZA DUSHKU (I KNOW YOU HAVE ONE).